A Sentencing Memorandum Response is just that: it’s the prosecutor’s response to the Sentencing Memorandum submitted by the defense.

The district attorney filed her response today.

Last week when I met with my lawyer to go over what I should expect at sentencing, he said the prosecution would most likely play a passive role and not say much—they’re usually happy to get a conviction and probably won’t care too much about the length of imprisonment.

His assumption was wrong.

My lawyer and I talked briefly about the response over the phone this afternoon. He said the prosecutor "attacked me from all angles" and asserted that my psychotherapist didn’t know me well enough to conclude that I wasn’t a threat to children. Their response also accused my lawyer’s Sentencing Memorandum of "minimizing" what was a "heinous" crime.

The phone conversation completely defeated whatever small amount of confidence I had. Before getting off the phone, I asked why the prosecution would be so insistent that I receive the 20-year statutory maximum sentence. He theorized their argument may be intended to counterbalance the reputation my judge has for sentencing child pornography defendants below the federal guidelines.

There have been many tears shed today, partly because of the prosecutor’s response, but there are other reasons as well. There will be many friends and family members present at tomorrow’s sentencing, and there seems to be no end to the love and support they’ve shown me.

I honestly feel so unworthy sometimes.