Small Victory

I won a small victory yesterday. It's not much and may not even affect my sentence, but it was important to me, personally. My lawyer called to tell me he received my evaluation from the psychotherapist, and the results were positive.

After three sessions of questions and written tests, the therapist concluded that I'm a "normal homosexual male" who shows no sexual interest in prepubescent boys nor any intent or desire to have sex with minors. My lawyer is sending me a copy of the full report.

As I said before, the evaluation may not mean much to the judge, but it means a lot to me. I feel vindicated in a way. The report proves what I've been saying all along. I may be sexually attracted to teenage boys, but that in no way implies that I'm predisposed to sexually abusing children. It's illogical to draw such a conclusion and is no basis for sending harmless people to prison.

It's fucked up.

This is not to say, however, that I'm without guilt. The trading of child pornography is immoral, and my actions showed a serious lack of judgment. I'm not asking to be let off the hook—I just want what is fair.

A five to 20-year prison sentence is unjustifiably egregious.

Before getting off the phone with my lawyer, he asked if I'd be comfortable taking a polygraph test to prove to the court that I've never had sex with a minor. Again, there would be no guarantee that the results would impact the judge's sentence, but it couldn't hurt.

Having nothing to hide, I agreed to the polygraph. Meanwhile, my lawyer is going to ask the district attorney for a continuance. Sentencing is scheduled for Wednesday of next week, and I'll need time to take the test.