Today, during my third and final visit with the therapist, we discussed my thoughts on our last session in which he introduced me to Tom, the federal employee who’d served four years in prison for possession of child pornography. The meeting had been intended as a way to learn about prison. The stories had been grisly, and the therapist suggested I take some of what Tom had said about prison with a grain of salt. Specifically, the stories about rape.

"How common is rape in prison?" I asked the therapist. "Should I be worried?"

"It’s hard to say."

Part of the problem, he admitted, is terminology. Sex, hustling, and bribery are common in prison and it’s difficult to define what is consensual. If one man exchanges sex with another man for protection, is it considered rape? What happens if the man is then sold to another inmate for sex? Is that consensual?

Also, victims may not report rape for fear of retaliation or humiliation, which makes the statistics untrustworthy.

My therapist’s opinion, based on his experience with his who’d been to prison, is that rape is less common than is perceived by people and the media. To set my fears at ease, he let me stick around after our session to speak with his next appointment.

Jason was just released from prison after serving forty years for capital murder. He seemed nice enough. I’d never have guessed he’d spent time behind bars, let alone had murdered someone.

His retelling of prison was less scary than Tom’s. His advice was to be upfront with people and to let them know I’m not looking for trouble and won’t tolerate trouble. He said it’s worth a broken nose in the beginning to prove I’m not a "prison punk" who allows himself to be bullied. He said if someone is harassing me I should yell "Fight!" to attract the attention of the guards and then attack my assailant with everything I’ve got. Once the other inmates realize I’m more trouble than I’m worth, they’ll leave me alone.

The rest of our session was spent taking tests that supposedly measure my mental health and sexual interests.

One test contained 175 true or false statements:

"I have difficulty forgetting painful memories from my childhood."

"There are so many things that interest me, I have a hard time choosing what to do."

"I’m convinced that other people are trying to control my thoughts."

In another test I was asked to rate several scenarios on a scale ranging from sexually repulsive to sexually stimulating:

"A beautiful woman is slashing your back with razor blades."

"A naked woman is tied to a bed and you’re burning her tits with a cigarette. She’s screaming for you to stop."

"Your eleven-year-old son is holding your erect dick with both hands and staring at it expressionless."

The goal of all these tests is to prove to a judge that I am not a sexual menace and should therefore be afforded some amount of leniency, though there’s no guarantee that the judge will consider the therapist’s report. Nor did the therapist offer any indication what my tests revealed or what his report might say.